The First Year After a Loss
A practical guide to the money side of losing a spouse or partner.
Grief takes the time it takes. Some paperwork can't wait, but most big money decisions can. This guide sorts out which is which, so you can handle what matters now and give yourself room on the rest.
You don't have to do all of this at once, and you don't have to do it alone. Check things off as you go, and ask for help when you need it.
The first few weeks
These steps protect what you have and keep the household running.
Get certified copies of the death certificate. The funeral director can order them. Get more than you think you need, since many banks and insurers want their own.
Keep essential bills paid. That includes the mortgage or rent, utilities, and home, car, and health insurance, so nothing lapses.
Gather key papers. The will or trust, insurance policies, recent account statements, the last two tax returns, deeds and vehicle titles, your marriage certificate, and military discharge papers if they apply.
Contact Social Security. The funeral home often reports the death, but you still need to apply for any survivor benefits. A surviving spouse may also qualify for a one-time $255 payment.
Contact the VA if your spouse or partner was a veteran.
Contact their employer if they were working. Ask about final pay, retirement plans, and any group life insurance.
Leave joint accounts open for now. Make sure you can still get to the money you need for daily life.
If you weren't married: some protections spouses get automatically, such as survivor benefits and joint ownership, may not apply to you. Find out early what's in your name and where you're listed as beneficiary. An estate attorney can help.
The first few months
This is when accounts change hands. Take it one at a time.
Meet with an estate attorney if there's a will, a trust, or property that has to go through probate.
File life insurance claims. You don't have to decide right away what to do with the money. A safe, easy-to-reach account is fine while you think.
Ask before you choose on retirement accounts and annuities. As a beneficiary, you may have several options, and each one is taxed differently. Some come with deadlines.
Retitle what needs it, such as bank accounts, the house, and vehicles.
Update your own paperwork. If your spouse or partner was your beneficiary, power of attorney, or healthcare decision-maker, name someone new.
Notify the three credit bureaus (Equifax, Experian, TransUnion) to help prevent identity theft in your spouse or partner's name.
Check your health insurance if you were covered through their plan. Deadlines to choose new coverage can be short.
Rework your budget around the income you have now.
By tax time
The year of a death brings a few tax steps that don't come up any other year. A tax professional is worth having this year.
File a final return for your spouse. If you were married, you can usually still file jointly for the year they died.
Ask whether the estate needs its own return. This depends on what was left and how it passes.
Keep records of values on the date of death for investments and property. They can lower the tax you owe if you sell later.
What can wait
When you can, give yourself the first year before making big decisions that are hard to undo. Other people may push you to act sooner. It's fine to say, "I'm not ready to decide that yet."
Selling the house or moving. Unless staying isn't affordable or safe, this can usually wait.
Big changes to investments. Holding steady for now is a decision too.
Lending or giving money to family or friends. Wait until you know what you need first.
Buying new financial products. Be cautious about anything offered under time pressure.
Paying debts you aren't sure you owe. In general, family members aren't personally responsible for a loved one's debts unless they co-signed or the account was joint. Ask an attorney before you pay.
Watch for scams
Scammers read obituaries. People who were recently widowed get targeted, so be careful with anyone who contacts you first.
Calls or letters saying your loved one owed money, or that funeral or medical bills are past due
Callers claiming to be from Social Security, Medicare, the IRS, or a bank
Anyone who pressures you to act fast, keep a secret, or pay by gift card, wire, or cryptocurrency
New "friends" online who bring up money
Before you share any information or send money, hang up and call back using a number you look up yourself. Consider naming a trusted contact on your accounts, too: someone your bank or advisor can reach if something looks wrong.
If you have questions
If something in here raises a question, I'm happy to talk it through.
Melissa Blaszczyk, Calibri Financial (845) 978-6201 · melissa@calibrifinancial.com
This guide is for general education only. It isn’t legal or tax advice. Rules vary by state and situation, so check with an attorney or tax professional about your own circumstances.